What I Learned from Getting Rejected Every Year
As you may know, I recently got into a juried show that I've been applying to for 15 years. I was rejected EVERY YEAR—until this year! The juried event was (drum roll please) the Minnesota State Fair Fine Arts Competition. Yes, with the prize livestock, seed art, and giant veggies. I’d been turned down so consistently that it became a running joke, and I was even able to turn the rejections into funny social media content. This year, I finally got in, but I learned some interesting things about myself in the process.
[The chunky painting that got accepted, called “This is FINALLY My Year”.]
Here's the thing about rejection: if you want it to hurt less, you need to experience MORE of it.
In my artist career, I’ve applied for lots of things—grants, exhibitions, opportunities—and I average a “yes” about 10% of the time. Does it sting when I got turned down? Yes, a little. But over time, I was able to actually be PROUD of my rejections, because—so help me—I WAS TRYING.
I was putting myself out there, come what may. I have grown to the point that a career success and a career disappointment both cause a fairly neutral emotional reaction. I know, without a doubt, that the victory is actually the effort, not the result.
The same thing is true on the mean streets of social media. Sharing your art with the whole world is incredibly vulnerable. Knowing that the Brads and Chads might see your work and say something mean about it can keep a lot of people from clicking the "post" button.
But my rule holds: the more nasty comments I get on the internet, the less I care. In fact, the comments like "It's not art" and "You're wasting paint" actually strengthen my resolve to use even more paint. Wahahahaha.
We're all afraid of failure. We're all afraid of getting it wrong. For a lot of folks, the emotion of fear is enough to keep them inside their safe (boring) lives, doing safe things, and never feeling the discomfort of risk. But the people who win—who achieve things, who create meaningful impact in the world—are the ones who march forth in the MIDST of fear.
I had a friend who was an extreme introvert. He found it very difficult to talk to people, but he deeply wanted more human connection in his life. So he took a radical step: he became a door-to-door salesman. He wanted to eliminate his debilitating fear, and the only way he could think to do that was to confront it head-on with the most uncomfortable thing he could imagine. After a few months of brutal interactions, he found himself to be cured. He'd been sworn at, yelled at, accused of being a thief, and even faced the possibility of physical harm. But after that experience, he could literally talk to anyone without fear. He’d already experienced the worst social interactions humans had to offer. Someone snubbing him at a party was the LEAST of his concerns.
I have another friend who is very accomplished in her corporate career, yet she longs for a creative outlet. However, she doesn’t like being a novice at something. She likes being really, really good—and she knows that if she picks up quilting or painting, she’ll go through an uncomfortable and awkward learning phase. She's not ready for that yet, but at least she's clear eyed about what's holding her back. I think eventually she’ll come around and embrace uncertainty.
Ultimately, when we put ourselves out there, what we are facing is uncertainty. We might get the outcome we want—but we might also get an outcome we DON'T want.
To live full, wholehearted lives, we have to get comfortable with that uncertainty, and comfortable with the whatever the results might be.
Uncertainty is not the enemy. It's just human life. When we learn to tolerate and even embrace uncertainty, we unlock emotional resilience and real momentum in our art careers. The artists who grow the fastest, build authentic audiences, and sell the most work aren’t necessarily the most talented. They’re the ones who take the most action without knowing exactly how it will turn out.
Here are a few powerful ways to embrace uncertainty and let it work in your favor:
1. Action Creates Clarity
If you wait to be certain, you’ll never start. Don’t sit in the research phase trying to find the perfect answer. "Research" can be a type of perfectionism that will keep you stuck and give you a false sense of progress. Forward momentum comes from testing. The most successful people aren’t afraid to take action without guarantees. Start before you’re ready, and let the doing refine your direction.
2. Reframe Discomfort as Progress
Comfort is seductive, but nothing new is born there. Growth happens when you stretch. Your nervous system may confuse discomfort with danger—but you’re not in danger. You’re just doing something brave. You can’t be courageous unless you are confronting fear. Courage REQUIRES fear.
3. Embrace Beginner’s Mind
Being a beginner is awkward. That’s the point. You build mastery over time. As Niels Bohr said, “An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.” Hot tip: the narrower the field you give yourself, the faster you'll progress.
4. Choose Experimentation Over Perfectionism
Perfectionism is just an obsession with certainty—and it will stall you every time. Instead, treat your art like a lab. Every painting, every post, every pitch is a test. Take a cue from the most successful inventors: they didn’t get it right once, they got it wrong a thousand times first.
5. Get Clear On What You’re Really Afraid Of
Is it embarrassment? Being judged? Wasting time? Most creative fear comes down to vulnerability. But the antidote to fear is action. When you do the scary thing, you realize the worst-case scenario isn’t as bad as you thought. (And, good news/bad news: usually no one is paying that much attention anyway.)
6. Understand Your Brain’s Bias
Our brains crave the known—even when it’s not working. We’re wired to play it safe. But just because your brain wants to stay put doesn’t mean it’s the right choice. You’re an artist. You were born to push boundaries.
7. Take Tiny Risks Often
Lower the stakes. Try a small risk: post the thing. Raise your price. Apply to the show. Ask for the sale. Each small act of courage builds your risk tolerance and strengthens your creative identity.
8. Remember That Courage Always Involves Fear
Over time, brave action results in something beautiful: confidence. I no longer feel nervous when I post something new to the socials. But I used to have A LOT of anxiety about it. Now, 3000+ posts in, the vulnerability I felt initially is long gone. Confidence is the wonderful result of repeated, brave action. But in the beginning of any new venture, being brave doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It means you do the thing anyway. You’re not supposed to feel fearless.
You’re supposed to feel afraid and show up regardless.
